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06 February 2007 @ 02:17 am
Another weekend has passed. It seemed to have cool down again, between Mr. Bear and I. The day I came back, we hugged and kissed like there is no tomorrow, as if we were breathing each other's breathe. He smelled just like he always smelled, so sweet and so comforting...

Maybe he's just stressed out, about me leaving, my career, his career, and what might lie ahead of us. I haven't been quite myself either, stressed out with packing and stacks of paper work pilling up on my desk.

Valentines is coming up soon. I bused down to Superstore the other day and picked up some baking chocolates. Maybe some hand-make chocolates wouldn't be such a bad gift? (I will be sure to feed it to the dogs first!) hehe, hope he likes...

Some people search for a fountain
Promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them

Hand me a world on a silver platter
And what good would it be?
No one to share, no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

Alicia Keys - If I ain't got you
Music: Alicia Keys - If I ain't got you
29 January 2007 @ 12:36 pm
Busy, narrow city streets, its sidewalks crowded with Antique shops, restaurants and sushi houses...


I'm back to Vancouver!!


Leaving again in three weeks, though... -_- Got to get a whole bunch of bills paid out and services/apartments cancelled..


Sending out emails for a last gathering before I leave!
Mood: bouncybouncy
21 January 2007 @ 07:56 pm
Gak. My dad has taken my brother out for Chinese school, and I finally get my few minutes of lone time, checking my emails and getting the rest of my grad applications stuff done.

Perhaps living alone isn't so bad. It's just so much things to deal with when you are squeezed in the same household with your parents... especially mine, who holds so much authority against their children.

The 3-hour long commute everyday with my dad in the car is just, ah. It's hard to avoid conversations that would get onto his nerves. Troubles in my mother's family in China, for instance.. or me, without a job and a boyfriend in Vancouver whom I'm wanting to go back to. Things like that which cause him to say bitter things about me and my values. Ah, dreadful.

People say women have terrible mood-swings during stages of menopause. I wouldn't be surprised if that goes the same for men. My dad's now like a dynamite, waiting to explode.

One thing I don't like about Indiana is its poor transportation system. In Vancouver you can get to almost anywhere with a bus or a skytrain; whereas in IN, you can't even get to a corner store without a car. Which kind of sucks. I mean, I could have hopped onto a bus and go to the library or something. Now I can hardly go anywhere without my dad.

BWAHH! >__< dun likke!

Mood: crankycranky
11 January 2007 @ 10:49 pm
I actually do enjoy my routine work at the lab, even though I'm not getting paid as if yet. I wake up at 7:30am every morning and crawl into bed at 10:45pm sharp, eat regularly and do a whole lot of standing and moving around. It feels so much better than staying at home everyday and worry myself silly about what might lie in the future.

My supervisor is the kindest prof there is. A Chinese man in his 50's, he's quiet, diligent and extremely modest. I think I must be the clumsiest lab student he's ever had, but he always teaches me with such patience that makes me feel bad. >__<

I could still remember my first few days at the lab. Not having used to standing for 8 hours a day with little breaks in between, my feet felt as if they were standing on pins and needles. Despite of how hard I tried, it was hard to keep a composure while watching him work. I shifted my weight from side to side to lessen the pain, but tried to make it as less obvious as possible.

Noticing this, he stood up from the only chair in the little PCR room and said, "Sit, I see you've been standing for a long time."

At an instant I could almost feel my eyes getting watery. >__< I think I'm too used to my old boss who frantically takes every little chance to exercise her authority.

My prof was glad that I could speak Chinese. His English isn't the best, sometimes it's a little difficult to understand what he was trying to tell me..

For instance,

He would always say, "I'm going to pipette some samples." After getting the pipette for him, it turned out that he meant that he was going to 'prepare' some samples.

The other day I almost lost my composure when he put down his gloves and announced with a straight face, "I'm going to get some ass."

I thought, "What??"

He thought for a little while, turned to me and said, "Actually, you can get some ass."

Noticing the stunned look on my face, he took me to the third floor, into the second room down the hall, and there it is, a freezer filled with ice.
Mood: relaxedrelaxed
Music: 牡丹江 - 南拳媽媽
11 January 2007 @ 03:10 pm

City of Carmel, IN.
You can see my little brother waiting for the school bus in the morning.

Our backyard.

Can you already sense feelings of lonely solitude? haha..

It's been two weeks since I'm here. Every now and then I see moonlight shinning through the blinds in my bedroom window and think about my old home and all the people I miss.

Some good news, I found an internship, working as a lab technician in the university. It was sure quick compared to that five months wait-time back in Vancouver... (Well, I had to study for the GRE for the most of it, so it wasn't too bad, I guess...)

The current opportunity have been introduced by a close friend of my father's, so I guess none of us can deny the power of networking in job-search anymore...

In the meantime, I'm still waiting for my Grad school application to go through. Terribly anxious, though, knowing that my grades are a complete disaster. =( I'm thinking of taking the GRE again, and at the same time, am hoping that having a few months of work experience would polish my application. But the deadline is March 1st, so I have to wait until then to find out whether I will be accepted.

Ah. All the anxiety.

I'm hoping as soon as I get my student Visa that I can go back to Vancouver and get some things organized. Me being a non-american Alien makes travelling a little difficile, though not as troublesome since I still have a Canadian citizenship.

For everything else I'm taking a step at a time, I guess. I still phone Mr. Bear every night to tell him everything is okay. That poor thing.. he says he phones my old apartment just to hear my voice on the answering machine... that completely breaks me...

Today Pookiebinx sent me an email asking me whether I would like to try eyebrow-threading with her.

All that excitement in her voice.

Does she not know I've been long gone for days?

Jreamy tells me Eugene's long-planned karaoke site is finally up and running. Haha, it will be the next Karaoke-tube, according to him. What's the URL again???
Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Music: Like a Star - Corinne Bailey Rae
05 January 2007 @ 02:50 pm
Greetings from Indiana!

Quite a handful of things are happening over here.

I do miss my friends, Mr. Bear and Vancouver a whole lot, but managed to distract myself with the new things and people I meet everyday.

Will write again soon!

Happy New Year!
Mood: giddygiddy
Music: Jazz on the Radio
Merri Kurisumasu, everyone!

I've slept very little this week, worked a little, got paid, booked airline tickets, applied for grad school, went for an interview, saw my friends - It's a whole year's chores squeezed into 7 days!

So, yes! I'm pretty pround of myself! (*grins)

I'm off to Indiana for a month to visit my family. I know I always seem to be complaining about my parents, but family is always family, and your home is always your home. Nothing can beat that. I kind of miss my mommy's cooking and having someone make my bed. =(

Mr. Bear got my little brother a Gundam figurine to build.. >_< I hope he will like it.. hehe..

Merri Kurisumasu!
Mood: chipperchipper
18 December 2006 @ 11:01 pm
Mr. Bear's co-worker came into work completely broken-- her husband fell off the stairs in the middle of the night, and to make matters worse, their car got set on fire.

What really happened turned out to be a Hollywood action drama - at 3am in the morning, their dog was barking loudly downstairs, so she woke her husband up and told him to take the dog out for a walk. While finding his way down the stairs in the dark, he slipped and fell, landed on his head and became unconscious. Upon hearing the loud noise, Mr. Bear's co-worker quickly got out of bed to check on her husband. At an instant she thought his head was gone (!) because it was somehow blocked by the stairs. And then she checked his breathe and thought he was dead.. (One can only imagine how much shock this poor women had gone through!! =X ) What's worse, the alarm in her car started beeping like crazy.. The next thing she knew, her car had been mysteriously lit on fire. They had the cops came and everything. It was crazy.

Poor Ms. T... I just met her at a Christmas party two days before the incident, her husband and her were such a pretty couple.. Just hope everything will be fine...

So, I guess next time if you think you are having a bad hair day, think this! >V<

{edit} According to Mr. Bear, her husband had a light concussion, but fortunately he's alright. The co-worker got furious with him because he snuck to work when he was suppose to be at home.. /_\ And then he got sent home by his boss... /_\ (*faints)
Mood: sillyspeechless
27 November 2006 @ 04:18 pm
Fk, I just want to cut off my phone. Everyday I receive phone calls from my parents that I would never want to pick up. Everyday I plagued with dreams about my parents and my younger brother, feeling full of guilt, remorse, anxiety...

"Have you found a job, yet???"

"Why are you wasting your time??? Vancouver is hopeless!"

"You've got to decide, do you want to live life the hard way?? Or the easier way??"

"It's time to pack your belongings and chuck away what you don't need. We are booking a ticket for you to come back to Indiana at Christmas. "

I don't want to go to Indiana.

Because I know if I do, I will not be allowed to come back to Vancouver again, to see my friends, my dear boyfriend who loves me and adores me like nobody else does. I have no money, no car. Even plane tickets from there to Vancouver cost $900. I will be trapped, and isolated from the world.

But if I stay in Vancouver, why am I still without a proper job.. in my field? The hundreds of resumes I handed out in the last few monthes never seems to have responded. I phone, only to be turned down. I don't want to give up, but the enormous pressured given by my family makes me want to crawl into a cold swamp and hide, for the rest of my life. I feel like such a failure. I'm so broken I really don't know what to do. I just want to die.
20 November 2006 @ 02:37 am

面对人生的风吹雨打, 需要的, 是最佳的勇气


所以, 请不要轻易放弃, 要好好加油!

Ganbatte kudasai!
Mood: sleepysleepy
20 November 2006 @ 12:03 am

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?

Looking back at the past week, I think I've got some of my chores done and out of the way. So I should at least feel a little loosen up about life in general.

To-do list:

Student loan relief form - done
Physio appointments - done
Diane's website config - 1/2 done
Reference letters at UBC - Monday
Studying - Monday

Monday should be a whole new day.

I'm hopeful.
Mood: draineddrained
Music: Simple Plan - Welcome to my life
10 November 2006 @ 05:06 pm
Hehe, Mr. Bear's got me hooked on Dynasty Warriors (三国无双) and it's major fun. XD I'm a poor gamer and RPG's boggle my mind. All I need is some fast killing and button-smashing to exercise stress-relief, and Dynasty Warriors seem like the right PS2 game for me.. >_< The only thing is this game seems to like to make men act very feminine.. (*faints) The character Zhang He, for instance, like to utter phrases such as "let us dance towards victory!" or "we shall strive to be beeeauutiful", which makes me and Mr. Bear cringe. =S I'm also extremely envious of their thin, wasp-like waist. My mother always says mine's thick as a water bucket.


This clip never cease to make me laugh ---> Clip from Japanese Game Show

Even though the title reads, "Do not laugh." Oh noes, I could only imagine how badly I'd be beat'n from behind if I were to play this game. /__\
Mood: quixoticquixotic
Music: Ciara 1, 2 Step
04 November 2006 @ 06:31 pm
Finally a new layout! We can say goodbye to the good old Refried Paper at last-- you've done good at keeping my blog happy for the past years! (though you've been a little dry...)

I've been searching for templates for the longest time, and finally came across appleleaf. I like how this one is clean and simple, allows a lot of room for changes as one sees fit. I must also credit 牛飼いとアイコンの部屋 for the lovely artwork in the top banner. I've adjusted the color scheme to complement the lovely little drawing, and it must be all the rain we are getting in Vancouver; thus "Gentle Rain"...


During past upgrades Livejournal have made editing S2 layouts a lot easier, it seems. Overrides are available for CSS-style sheets now for S2 styles. There are definitely more choices for better looking and better functioning blogs, for both free and paid users. I stumbled across a few communities that were very useful to me in learning customization, just thought perhaps some of you would find them helpful too..

appleleaf This is where I got the base code for the current layout. Very pretty and soothing layouts. For Flexible Squares for the time being.

nameless_layout Equally as sophisticated.

premade_ljs A lot of neat layouts to choose from.

spiralbound_lj Recommended for anyone who would love colors and re-tro for their blogs!!

obladi_layouts Copy-and-Paste layouts, mostly for the S1 Generator.
Mood: chipperchipper
01 November 2006 @ 12:53 am

Blue Gate CrossingCollapse )
Mood: calmcalm
Music: 小步舞曲
19 October 2006 @ 04:13 pm
I was cooking in the kitchen one afternoon when a surprise visitor came darting in through my back door like a little fuss ball. I jumped. He, too.. looks like we've both startled each other.

A young black kitten, tiny in its size, with curious eyes of a little tiddler. Seeing that I'm of no harm, he immediately started exploring my home. A little touch here and a little touch there. He was even more thrilled to discover my living room! That couch, especially, was a major attraction to him -- what a thing for him to exercise his claws! I chased him around the house like a tired mother behind a toddler. Finally he dashed for my bed and hid underneath, refusing to come out. I laughed with a frown and shook my head.

After a while, he seemed to have gotten tired of this place and returned to my backyard. He sat studying bugs and catching flies in my yard while I had my lunch. Such a nice company to have in a quiet day like this one.

I snatched some pictures of him!

He's so cute.. >_< after petting him for a while, he stood on twos and put his paws on my thigh, wanting to be held! I love playing with cats on my block, but I've never seen such a trusting kitty. Soon as I let him on my thigh, he found himself a comfortable spot (have a guess where that is!) and refused to be let down! It was such a cute thing. I could only imagine how much he was loved and adored at home.
(I later found out he belong to neighbour just next door)

some more picturesCollapse )
Mood: cheerfuloh Sunny day!