Log in

No account? Create an account
27 June 2007 @ 10:29 pm
Wha-?  I don't get it.  Perhaps my five years of University education failed me, but I guess such thing as relationships don't work in terms of theories, or passes repetitive testing.

Last time when Mr. Bear went out alone with a girl, my little rule system, although seemingly silly and naive, seems to work out fine for the both of us.  But this time when I childishly tried to lay the same rules in front of him before he left, he gave a weary frown and asked whether if it is because I don't trust him.. 

Well, ugh.. no... but...

"Are you trying to control me and tell me whom I can see and cannot see?"

Well... ugh... no... but..

"Are you trying to make me lose a ten-year friendship with someone who's very important to me?"

Well.. ugh.. ugh.. ugh..

There.  I'm speechless.  But then I threw a big tandrum anyway.  And then we get into a huge, ear-blasting argument over the phone, which I'm sure everyone on my block heard.  -_-  (Well, there goes the come-back for their loud BBQ's at 2AM in the morning when I'm trying to sleep.)

Gee, can't say I lived it all, but now I know one thing for sure about relationships.  I say with every relationship you'd always find one little problem that bothers you the most, even since the beginning.  Believe me, this tiny peck of dust can linger for quite a long time, a long long time.   *Sigh.  I knew it, I knew with Mr. Bear and his intimacy with other female friends, I would go completely ballistic one day.  The termite, the thorn in our relationship!!!!  >:{}   

*sigh.  No solutions as of yet, though.  None, none.
Mood: apatheticapathetic
Music: 王菲 守望麦田
arr_matey on June 29th, 2007 12:33 am (UTC)
I know how you feel, hun. I love my boy and I trust him totally with this kind of thing but I still secretly get a little bristly when he makes plans with old lady friends. I think that little bit of tension is normal.
flying_young on June 29th, 2007 10:52 pm (UTC)
Who is this new boy and how does he come to have old lady friends??!

Oh geez, sometimes tension caused by this can go sky-rocket high, though. =( Gee, how did you manage to hide your discontent or allow it to go away? I always have trouble doing that... *frowns
arr_matey on June 30th, 2007 03:13 am (UTC)
Ha ha, he's not that "new" anymore! His name is Oliver, we've been dating since late September. He's just super personable and has a ridiculous amount of friends everywhere (and by "lady friends" I just mean friends are female).

As far as the discontentment is concerned, very early in the relationship there was an issue where I was upset about a girl trying to get too close to him. I didn't say anything but I guess my anger was kind of transparent because he called me on it and we had a nice long talk about it. I also remind myself not to hold double standards - I have a lot of guy friends and he trusts me spending time with them. Plus I've seen him get uptight when other guys flirt with me so I know that he doesn't respect that kind of behavior.

But in the end I guess it just comes down to trust. He will always have female friends and I will always have guy friends but we chose to be with each other. Ha ha,I have no idea if that helps or not...
flying_young on September 6th, 2007 01:31 pm (UTC)
Thanks for adding me on Facebook! I saw your pictures and I must say you two look adorable together!

Thank you.. hmm.. I had a long talk (fought) with Sunny (Mr. Bear), and he agreed to be more sensitive about my tendancy to get jealous about his girl-friends.. but I think up until now, he still doesn't understand why I get jealous!